Friends

Fri Mar-18-2005 14:27
I lost a friend this past week. She was 48 years old. I say a friend, but I am sad to say I neglected this friend for many years. Her name was Maryanne - I knew her as Crystal. We were in the Philippines together for around 15 months. I was in my early thirties as was her boyfriend Carl. Carl and I had been stationed together twice before so it was natural that he and I were together when I met Crystal.

We spent many many hours together, in fact, other than my own wife, I probably spent more time with Crystal than any other woman in my life. She had lived through a difficult childhood, had been involved in drugs at an early age, and just was one mixed up young lady... didn't matter, being away from home like that has a way of equalizing everyone - she wanted to talk - I wanted to listen - we became friends. When Carl's shift was opposite ours, oft times we'd sit in the barracks lounge for hours, sometimes late into the night shooting the breeze.

Upon my return to the states, Offutt AFB here in Nebraska, Carl soon followed. While we were not in the same shop, we were once again on the same base. I was surprised to learn from Carl that Crystal had a nervous breakdown before leaving The Philippines and was in the mental ward at Travis AFB CA. I say surprised and yet I always 'knew' she had some problems. Long story short, Crystal was medically discharged with 100% disability and she and Carl got married somewhere in there. She came to Nebraska of course to be with him and we got together occasionally in the beginning. Both Carl and Crystal seemed to be drinking heavily during that time, and I had two teenage daughters around that I didn't want seeing that sort of behavior. I 'quit' seeing them, friends, both of which I had told I them I loved them. I quit seeing them because I was embarrassed around my children. I wish I hadn't taken that step now.

Crystal left Carl in February of 03 (I didn't know) - they divorced in October of that year ( I did not know ) - Crystal, dressed in a skirt, blouse, and windbreaker, wearing sandals was walking west on a train track, a freight train bearing down on her heading west, blowing it's whistle to no avail. I will attend her service tomorrow morning. To hurt that much I can not imagine. I've spoken to Carl - in his voice was gratitude for the call - there was not allot to say although we talked for 30 minutes or so... I let him do most of the talking because he needed to, but I will tell Carl I love him at the serivce.

To anyone reading this whom I do call friend, I love you too. I will try never to turn my back on a friend again - I think I learned a life lesson.